Nagin Reveals Conspiracy Details

Written by NOLAFugees Staff
Monday, 19 March 2007 19:30

Responding to yet another wave of criticism over racially loaded comments, New Orleans Mayor C. Ray Nagin promised that this time he has "first-hand information" to back up his words.

Nagin's initial comments, that there was a "conspiracy" to change the racial makeup of New Orleans by impeding the dislocated African-American population from returning home, was met with immediate disagreement from prominent public officials such as City Council President Oliver Thomas. Nagin, however, explained in detail the inner workings of the conspiracy.

"First of all, you got these shadowy businessmen," Nagin began. "They know they're outnumbered by the black folks, so they just lay back in the cut, make their money, and figure out a way to sneak in."

Nagin went on to detail a nefarious plot hatched five years ago involving moneyed interests throwing heavy support behind a "business-oriented" African-American Mayoral candidate, and getting 86% of the white voters to support him, thereby neutralizing the black majority.

"You might think I'm crazy," Nagin said. "But believe me, I was in the room with them."

Hurricane Katrina, Nagin claimed, provided "them" with an opportunity they'd never imagined possible.

"Here's where the shit gets wild," Nagin warned listeners. The "money folk," according to Nagin, would still get behind the "business-oriented" Mayor, even against a well-known white candidate, because doing so would allow the conspiracy to remain veiled behind, as Nagin said, "a handsome black face."

The end result, according to Nagin, is where the genius of the plot lies.

"The more I say there's a conspiracy, the more bat-shit you people think I am," Nagin said. "I'm the Emperor in a stylin' suit, and you fools are looking at me like I'm naked."