Me go to Garden District Book Shop for Sarah Inman book signing. Inman novel Finishing Skills about bitch boxer. It publish on university press. It like having talk show on PBS. Sound of one hand masturbating.

Red wine passable. Me tell bookstore owner Britton Trice he better go upscale for Piazza reading.

Me hang with media luminaries like Josh Clark of Light of New Orleans Press. Me still pissed at Clark for kicking me out of his Pontalba pad when shit went down. He claimed me feel up his bitch while he on phone with NPR. Me left stranded in Quarter for days before crawling Uptown to NOLAFugees office. That why me have this shit starfucking gig for ad-less online startup. Me blame Clark. But me smile. Revenge best served cold.

Me hook on to after-party at Handsome Willy’s in CBD. Someone need to tell owner Justin Micaroni to lose trash heap outside front door. It not fashionable any more. Justin have no pull in city. He need to get in line with crazies at town hall meeting. Still, he have pretty bar.

Free Red Stripe and dark light mask fact that no bitches at after-party come from real money. Closest thing to heiress is filmmaker Ruth Caffery, but bitch spoken for. Plus she screw me out of invite to Arthur Roger party. Me not forgive. After ceremonial Frangelico shot with Micaroni, me head to Vaughan’s in Bywater.

It good to see Kermit Ruffins in fine form. Me not speak to him since night we took high ride and he took hard left onto neutral ground on St. Claude. Also good to see drummer Shannon Powell in flesh and not as smiling face on my rotting copy of August Offbeat. (Me hear, by the way, that Offbeat up and running. Good news. Me have been addicted to Michael Jastroch’s riveting prose since back in day when he had helm at Where Y’At and we have coke-fueled three-ways Shim Sham bitches.)

Me get hazy at this point. Me last remember smoking joint with gay man with scary name to indicate he a top. Always happens when me go to Bywater. Me not learn.

Cookie covers the Society beat for NOLAFugees.com