Delgado Community College Offers Courses in Debris Removal, Heroism
 
Earlier this week at Delgado Community College’s Spring Convocation, Dr. Alex Johnson, Chancellor of the college, announced new course offerings in debris removal, swimming, and heroism.
 
“In post-Katrina New Orleans, we have to be realistic about our students’ needs and career options,” Johnson said to roughly 1,500 returning faculty and staff members. 
 
“There’s a right way and a wrong way to pull sheetrock from a wall,” Timothy McNulty, adjunct instructor of sheetrock removal, said at Monday’s convocation, which was held in the Student Life Center at the City Park Campus. “If we can get our people back to the city doing just that, well then, we’re on our way to rebuilding New Orleans.”
 
The swimming course fit logically into the curriculum, Johnson asserted.  A retired United States Coast Guard rescue swimmer, Philip Manchau will oversee the three-credit course in basic swimming and water survival techniques.  Manchau added, “Give a man fish, feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.  Teach a man to swim, and he can get out of here next hurricane season.” 
 
Davis Derocher, who will lead the three-credit course in heroism, spoke of the need for such a class.  “Most people assume heroes are born and not made,” said Derocher. “We’re of the philosophy that people can be taught to be heroes.  Whether you’re performing a rooftop rescue, or searching for survivors in the corners of a large shelter that was overtaken by a tired, hungry mob, there’s a sort of art to it.”
 

Derocher added, “Our students, for the most part, aren’t brought up with same kind of self worth people from other parts of the city are raised with. That mentality can work to their advantage when studying to become heroes.  They tend to assume others’ needs are greater than their own, and that’s what makes them predisposed to acts of heroism. You ever hear of an investment banker lifting a half ton car off the ground to save a two-year-old? No, it’s always the single mother on welfare.”
 
Registration at Delgado Community College continues at all campuses through January 18. For more information call 361-6319 or visit www.dcc.edu.

Delgado Community College to offer Post-Apocalypse life-skills courses.

Phillip Manchau, Adjunct Instructor of Water Survival.

"Our students aren't brought up with the same self-worth people from other parts of the city are."

New Orleans School Students Must Adjust to New Uniforms

As local public school students return to their studies, the State of Louisiana has mandated a change in uniforms. "For years we have instituted mandatory uniforms to remove any possibilities for conflict over students' clothing," said Mary Hughes, spokeswoman for the transition-group managing the hand-over of power from the Orleans Parish School Board to representatives of the State Department of Education. "Now we are mandating it to preserve the students' health."

The new uniforms, unlike the old ones, which varied from school to school and were readily available at private stores throughout the city, must now be ordered directly from the manufacturer, must be ordered directly from Home Defense Products, an internet wholesale warehouse.

"We wanted parents of returning students to feel their children were finally safe from toxins. These suits block everything-- mold, lead, benzene and other petro-chemical wastes, everything," said Hughes. "And since we have summer school this year, I advise every parent to invest in a hurricane survival kit for their kids, just in case."

Students don't seem too thrilled with the prospect of new uniforms, and neither do parents. "That thing is wack," said Tamra Bissell, a student at McDonough 17. Her mother agreed. "Where am I going to afford three hundred dollars for a damn suit?" said Mrs. Bissell.

When questioned about the cost, Hughes said parents shouldn't worry. "I don't think it looks so bad. As for the cost, there are federal grants to make sure no child is left behind, at least without their hazmat suit."

Returning Tulane Students Inconvenienced By Hurricane's Aftermath

When Meredith Goodman, a twenty-year-old from Fairfield, Connecticut, returned to New Orleans this weekend to continue her junior year at Tulane University, she expected some things to be different. “But I didn’t think it would be this bad,” Goodman said.  Unable to get a brow wax at the overbooked Belladonna Day Spa, Goodman did without and attended the Simga Phi Epsilon welcome back party “feeling a little furry,” according Goodman.
 
Hannah Tisch, a premed student from Massapequa, New York, searched three different drug stores before finding a memory card for her digital camera, and Eric Furber, a native of Plainsboro, New Jersey, and second year student at the Tulane’s Freeman School of Business, lamented the loss of Bayou Bagelry on Claiborne.  “They weren’t even good bagels, but they were better than nothing,” Furber said.

"I was back in Connecticut by the time the storm hit," said Goodman, "and just looking at the TV, I was like, 'oh my God, that is so sad.' Coming back, I can see how hard its been for people." Goodman continued, describing the long lines at the Save-A-Center, the abbreviated Mardi Gras holiday, and the lackluster nightlife. "At least F&M's is opened, but what about the Whole Foods?"  

Goodman, who returned to her apartment on Adams Street Uptown last week, says her sorority, Omega Mu, plans to pitch in and help the city rebuild. "We're dedicating all the proceeds from our annual Pimps and Hos party to the LSPCA," said Goodman. "Then maybe they can finally catch the pack of dogs roaming on my street."

Meredith Goodman, a returning junior at Tulane didn't think it would be this bad.

UNO Lowers Grammar Standards To Bolster Enrollment


In an effort to recoup funds lost to diminishing post-Katrina enrollment, leaders at the University of New Orleans have decided to relax penalties for grammatical errors.

“I have lost a lot both personally and professionally due to Katrina,” UNO Provost Fredrick Barton said in a phone interview. “But in the final analysis, having to dissolve the distinctions between ‘lay’ and ‘lie’ and ‘further’ and ‘farther’ is the thing that hurts the most.”

The move was endorsed by a majority of the English department and was finalized by Chancellor Timothy Ryan.

“Reducing barriers to entry for Nicholls State and SLU transfers will make us competitive in the shrinking academic market,” said Ryan, the former Dean of UNO’s school of business.

Reaction to the policy-shift has been well-received among the student body, or at least those students available for contact. "Thank God! I never thought I would get past the English requirement" said Jennifer Nguyen, a graduating senior in UNO's School of Business.

UNO Provost Barton. below: new standards orientation.