Seeking to aid homeowners devastated by Hurricane Katrina and betrayed by the federal government’s refusal to back the Baker Bill, Check Into Cash, Inc., has emerged to offer New Orleans homeowners a much needed payday loan to hold them over until they get back on their feet.
“Our payday advances put money into your hands fast. Just write us a personal check, we'll hold it and give you the money you need right now.”
Bush administration officials hailed Check Into Cash as yet another example of the efficiency of the private sector in solving the problems of a community on a local level.
“Check Into Cash gives folks in New Orleans a chance to get their hands on some money without the pesky bureaucratic red tape or regulatory lending standards,” said Donald Powell, President Bush’s point man for Gulf Coast Recovery and former chairman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC).
The reaction to Check Into Cash’s offer among residents of the city’s hardest hit areas was less than enthusiastic.
“They may not seem to realize that we need full compensation for the equity loss sustained to my property,” said Shirley Mason of Lakeview. “If I needed a quick $500 dollars, I have a savings account for God’s sake.”
Displaced homeowners of the Lower 9th Ward, many of whom still reside in hotels scattered around the country, seemed skeptical but resigned.
“Those people been sucking my blood for years,” said Carlton Overton, a night security guard formerly of the 9th Ward now residing in Joliet, Ill. “Now they want my grandma’s fucked up house. Jesus almighty!”
“But,” Overton continued. “What choice do I got? Are you going to loan me any money?”
Bolstered by their recent success in the Palestinian Authority elections, the leadership of Hamas have turned their attention to another beleaguered region with a history of civil unrest: New Orleans.
“We have a historic opportunity to make inroads on American soil,” said Hamas spokesman Mushir al-Masri. “With so much uncertainty in New Orleans, we carry a simple message to the people: why not us?”
A controversial element of Hamas’ platform calls for the removal of the security gate surrounding Audubon Place. Many wealthy Uptowners are leery of such extreme language. One prominent lawyer, who refused to be identified by name, calling himself “the guy in the Rolling Stone article who hung out with Doug Brinkley and Sean Penn,” sees Hamas’ entry into the local political arena as unsettling.
“Religious fanaticism will not restore New Orleans,” he said. “If I have to call in the Israeli security team again, I will.”
Al-Masri, however, sees his party’s brand of Islam as “another choice for disaffected voters.”
“Traditionally your poor and uneducated have gravitated toward the Full Gospel Baptist Churches. I say to you, what good has that done them? Allow me to quote Ewuare Osayande “But many of the suffering are elderly Black women who spent their Sunday mornings preparing for church listening to these Black televangelists and their white predecessors preach on TV, sending them money in hopes of God’s blessings. They have now been met with the deafening and damning silence of the Black church.”
“You want your recovery effort led by Bishop Paul Morton?” al-Masri continued. “Or worse, Creflo Dollar. He makes Arafat look like Mother Teresa.”
"We have a historic opportunity to make inroads," said Hamas spokesman al-Masri.
Creflo Dollar makes Arafat look like Mother Theresa.
When the contractors first arrived to install the utility lines and chainlink fence that would serve as the foundation for a FEMA trailer compound in the baseball field across from his Lakeview home, John Hollings was far from pleased.
"I thought 'my house was already flooded and looted, now my neighborhood gets turned into a goddam trailer park?'" said Hollings. Although the site had yet to be occupied by residents, Hollings was prepared for the worst. "I expected my truck to be broken into, my tools stolen, maybe my daughter to get cat-called, or crack deals on my corner. I didn't expect this."
When severe storms ripped through the city in the pre-dawn hours of February 3rd, Hollings was asleep on his daughter's couch in Harvey, where he and his wife have been staying since returning to the area after Katrina. The next morning he drove to his home to meet his electrician, he heard reports of the twisters touching down.
When he pulled into his driveway, his worst fears were realized. "Most of my roof was still in one piece after the storm. When I got there it was in my front yard. My upstairs had been pretty much intact. Well, except for the looting. Now I need to replace 2000 square feet of berber."
Like many others, Hollings filed a protest with his city councilman, Jay Batt, who represents the oddly shaped district which incorporates both Lakeview and the Uptown university area.
Councilman Batt was unable to be reached for comment, but Hollings has spoken with his neighbors, and they've reached a consensus. "The mere thought of them was bad, said Hollings. "The thought of them being occupied was worse. But obviously these things attract tornadoes. Christ, everybody knows that."
John Hollins, whose home was ravaged by flood, hurricane, looting, and trailers.
Due to its many trailer sites, District A, once considered safe, may now be the most dangerous place in the city.
Local Mexican Defies “Hard Worker” Stereotype
In an attempt to confront popular misconceptions about the new labor force that has inundated New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina, Mid-City Mexican Matthew Suazo failed to file his assigned story to the offices of NOLA Fugees in time for its slated publication.
“When you hire a name like Suazo to a job, you expect it will get done,” NOLA Fugees editor Jarret Lofstead said as he scrambled to fill the open space in their bi-weekly internet publication. “This failure to produce, and produce happily, is a shock.”
The assigned article concerned Suazo’s recent travels to Amsterdam and Venice during the seven-week interval between semesters at the University of New Orleans, where Suazo is currently employed.
“We should have been suspicious from the beginning and checked his papers,” NOLA Fugees co-editor Joe Longo lamented. “A Mexican who spends seven-week vacations in Europe? What the hell?”
When told of the criticism of his editors, Suazo was unapologetic. “My refusal to labor on demand was designed to strike a blow for my people. The editors were under the impression that they could work me like a dog for minimal compensation. They even threatened me with deportation, knowing full well that I’m a citizen.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Suazo concluded. “My chaise is calling me para siesta.”
When you hire a name like Suazo to do a job, you expect it will get done.
Venice is splendid on a winter's eve. But not splendid enough to file on time.
