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Starfucking w/Cookie: The Gentleman Caller
Friday evening begin promising as me hang at cocktail buffet at Historic New Orleans collection. Me run into WWL evening anchor Dennis Woltering. Camera not do him justice. He handsome, bright man with gravitas. Me love Roop Raj as much as next man, but Roop need to study Woltering if he want to push Norman Robinson out of chair and play with big boys. Me also have drink with local cash-in poet Andrei Codrescu. Andrei declaim about obscure poet me not know. Then me arrange to meet with him at Molly’s tomorrow for hair of dog. We both know we in for long weekend. When open bar run dry and Historic Collection manager Warren Woods escort me out me head over to piano bar at Monteleone Hotel to get out of limelight. Half-ass lounge singer playing piano call me Elmo. Me want to slit his throat with champagne flute. Luckily lovely bitch with proper sense of history named Robin intervene and tell asshole singer who me really am. It turn out Robin in town to help save Newcomb College. Me support cause. Me all about preserving tradition and opportunity for society bitches. * Saturday morning me mix Bloody Mary and head back downtown for morning Chris Rose panel. Me hear later that night that Rose get in snit because someone tell him panel not until afternoon. Me not blame Rose for diva rage. If me told me had to rush to Quarter to trade quips with Joshua Clark, me bitch too. Before “Covering Katrina” panel me run into pretty volunteer bitch who tell me she fan of me. Encounter like this remind me what make Tennessee Williams Fest special. It opportunity to interact with public and share love of literature. Me worry Rose not show up in protest, but he not miss chance to perform. Short notice or not, Rose know how to read sheet music. Exaggerated pantomime. Gratuitous profanity. Persona of man fallen into dirty gig. Me familiar with shtick. Me wonder what fellow panelist and New York Times cash-in writer John Biguenet think when he find out Rose up for Pulitzer. Me want to ask, but moderator Errol Laborde not want to solicit questions from audience. What the fuck? Bring New Orleans Back Commission more democratic. After panel, hair of dog never seem so important. Me run into Condrescu at Molly’s along with Gambit Weekly listings bitch Katie Walenter. Me ask why she never attend NOLAFugees readings at Handsome Willy’s, since according to her paper we have one every week. Then me try to get her to jump ship and join NOLAFugees. Me tell editors office need more sundresses now that hot weather arrive. * Somewhere me take nap before attending evening Uptown cocktail event at home of John Lawrence, who graciously poured free wine. On back porch me hang out with regional short story maestro Tim Gautreuax. Me big fan of Gautreaux. His story about man hired to save people who jump from Riverboat casino into water inspired by trip me take to Biloxi years ago. Me lose ass playing Pai Gow poker and me decide me had it. It not story me like to tell, but Gautreaux handle issue with deft touch. John Biguenet also there. Looking back me should have asked Biguenet what he think about Rose getting Pulitzer nomination, but me too distracted by talk of LSU men’s Final Four game on TV in living room. It joy to watch LSU get beat after me lose ass betting on Duke in sweet 16 match. Me wanted to bet heavy against LSU in Final Four. Me would have made killing, but me conserving funds for big Forman for Mayor wager.
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