Mid-City Residents Bitch About Not Being Able to Bitch About Esplanande Market

The Market on Esplanade tried to fill in the blank left by community conscious Whole Foods, i.e. selling overpriced soy milk to clean women in yoga pants. The Market, we mourn your passing.

Late Sunday afternoon, Wes Black walked his dogs over to the Market on Esplanade to pick up some food for dinner, only to find that the food store had shuttered its doors after only six months of operation.

“Damn,” Black said. “I was looking forward to getting pissed off about their inferior seafood selection.”

Black is not alone among neighbors who were beginning to get used to complaining about the store that had replaced the popular Whole Foods Market.

“I would go in for some Orangina after my regular jog around Bayou St. John,” said Laurie Kittredge, “and smile when I saw they weren’t quite bringing in the business they had hoped. I thought to myself, ‘that’s what you get when you don’t let us hand select our meats.’ It was fun.”

Other residents, though disappointed that an object of scorn has been removed from their neighborhood, cite many other irritants on which they can now heap derision.

According to Gerald Poirier, Sip getting tables on the Grand Route is as likely as their having a 1994 Marquez de Vargas Reserva.

“That new wine shop?” says Gerald Poirier, referring to Swirl, whose business sits two doors down from the former Market on Esplanade. “They don’t know the first thing about Riojas. And to think they wanted sidewalk tables. Where do they think they are?”