A Katrina Memoir In Numbers
By Bill Loehfelm

Local diviner and barkeep Bill Loehfelm explores the end of the world by numbers.

Prologue

3: Katrina’s rating on the Saffir-Simpson scale while AC and I watched a zombie movie, August 27

5: Katrina’s rating when AC woke me up on August 28

1: how many hours it took us to get on the road

19: the number of hours it took AC and I to reach Atlanta.

7: the number of hours it usually takes to get to Atlanta

Chapter 1—Impact

11: the number of hours after we left New Orleans that Katrina made landfall

89.3: the longitudinal position of Katrina’s landfall on the map

89.5: New Orleans’ longitudinal position

3: Katrina’s rating when she impacted New Orleans

3: the category of hurricane the levee system was supposedly built to withstand

3: the number of levee breaches that allowed water from Lake Pontchartrain to inundate the city

Chapter 2—The Damage

3: the number of houses in St. Bernard parish undamaged by floodwaters

14: the estimated maximum depth, in feet, of the floodwaters after the levee breaches

80: the percentage of the city flooded by the levee breaches

200,000 + : the number of houses in Orleans Parish that got a foot of water or more

15: the number of people I know who lost everything they owned in the flood

Chapter 3—Flashback

1: the number of headlines the Times-Picayune ran August 28 about Katrina breaching the levees

1: the number of times Max Mayfield, head of the national weather center, warned Mayor Nagin about possible levee breaches on August 27

6 +: The number of times I heard Mayor Nagin’s warning about possible levee breaches on the radio while evacuating

1: the number of times President Bush appears on video being warned about possible levee breaches

Chapter 4—Incompetence

1: the number of times the President said on television that “no one could have anticipated the breach of the levees”

2: the number of days before landfall that Louisiana was declared a federal disaster area

1: the number of FEMA officials in New Orleans on August 29

4: how many days after landfall federal assistance arrived in the city

7-10: how many days after landfall the Superdome and the Convention Center were considered evacuated

1500 + : the number of deaths attributed to Katrina in Louisiana

Chapter 5—Competence

1,500,000: the approximate number of people successfully evacuated from southeastern Louisiana ahead of Hurricane Katrina

Chapter 6—Homecoming

5: the number of homes on my block that needed roof repair

4.5: the number of hours AC and I spent salvaging our fridge

6: how many plants from the porch survived sitting in the living room for a month and a half

3: the number of times FEMA called me at my high-and-dry apartment to offer me a trailer

0: the number of my friends who applied for a trailer and got one.

2: the number of rejection letters AC and I got from publishers the first day the mail started coming again

2: the number of months after we cleaned it out that AC and I had to drag our fridge to the curb because it died anyway

Chapter 7—Back to Work

3: the number of weeks after I got back that my former employer contacted me to offer me my old job

0: the amount of seconds it took me to tell him I had a much better job already

125: the approximate number of vodka-Red Bulls I make on any given weekend

63: the approximate average IQ of the people for whom I make the aforementioned vodka-Red Bulls

8: the number of out-of-state contractors I’ve had to reprimand at the bar for calling the mayor a “nigger”

100: percentage of the tips I take from those people anyway

1: the number of times AC offered the mayor and his wife a chocolate dessert after the mayor’s infamous Chocolate City comment

0: the number of desserts the mayor and his wife ordered

20: the percentage the mayor typically tips after dinner

1: the number of puppies we adopted after the storm because we felt we didn’t have enough to deal with already

65: the current weight, in pounds, of the aforementioned puppy

110: total pounds of dog now sharing our apartment

6: the number of months, to the day, between Evacuation Day and Fat Tuesday 06

6: the number of months, to the day, between when AC and I evacuated New Orleans and when we got engaged

4: the number of major holidays (Xmas, New Year’s, her B-day, Valentine’s) I sweated through without proposing because I knew she was looking for it

20 – 30: the number of seconds she spent staring at me like I’d lost my mind after I popped the question

400: the number of years it felt like between when I asked and she said yes

100: the number of Mardi Gras-colored “save the date” refrigerator magnets we received in the mail the other day

75-100: the approximate number of guests we expect to host at our spring wedding in New Orleans

300: the approximate number of years New Orleans has continued to survive after fires, epidemics, wars and hurricanes…and we’re still here

Epilogue—And Yet…

2: the number of bodies found in New Orleans East the last week of July 2006

8: the number of shootings over Labor Day weekend

1: the number of bullets which hit a NOLAFugees editor's car in an unreported shooting

Bill Loehfelm is a regular correspondent for NOLAFugees.com.