Downtown Hipsters Debate Coolest Bar for Armed Robbery

Acccording to Jeremy Tierney, Mimi's is the coolest place in the 504 to get jacked.

Sipping coffee outside of Flora’s in the Marigny, Jeremy Tierney pointed across the street to Mimi’s and declared it a cool place in which to be the victim of armed robbery.

“The tapas are great,” Tierney said. “The beer selection, too. Plus they got those window seats overlooking Franklin Avenue, so when three unidentified black men in white T-shirts make for the front door, you can see them coming ahead of time and detach your wallet from its chain so they don’t have to pistol whip you to get it from you. All in all, it’s a pretty cool place to get jacked.”

Politely but firmly disagreeing with Tierney’s assessment was Abram Cohen, who thought Sugar Park was the far cooler place to be confronted by armed thieves.

“The thing about Mimi’s is that you usually got that gentrification crowd clogging the bar. You know, the ones that like to dance upstairs to DJ Soul Sister, Cohen said. “Sugar Park is way more out of the way,” he added, referring to its location at the edge of the Upper Ninth Ward. “Plus if you’re sitting at the door when the gunman come in, you are basically trapped. Way more raw. Not to mention they have delicious pizza.”

Other bars receiving mention from Tierney and Cohen included the newly reopened Saturn Bar, for its authentic neighborghood feel and a lack of a discernable back exit, and the Spellcaster Lodge, “just to see the look on Quintron’s face when he realizes the gunman aren’t there for the puppet show.”