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Faced with a spiraling violent crime rate, Chief Warren Riley makes a desperate call.
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New Orleans police chief Warren Riley has announced a new strategy for apprehending the most violent criminals in the city.
“We’ve got to know how they think,” Riley said at a press conference held at the Sixth District police station in the embattled Central City neighborhood. “And for this reason, I have had several one-on-one discussions with B-Stupid, the most violent criminal of them all.
Riley said the psychological mind games B-Stupid employed were difficult for Riley to handle, but that eventually B-Stupid grew cooperative.
“At first he’d give me shit about how he ate the liver of a FEMA worker along with a bowl of Popeye’s red beans and a twenty ounce Heineken,” Riley said. “But after that he provided me with some good insight and leads.”
Riley was asked whether there was any quid pro quo involved for B-Stupid’s cooperation.
“I had to tell him about a pet rooster I had growing up,” Riley said. “Every morning I’d take it for a walk in the neighborhood, until one day this gangster with a Rotweiler…” Riley trailed off. “Man, this shit is hard sometimes…” he said, choking back tears.
